Gold Digger

When it comes to finances, I’ll be honest, I really do appreciate a man who understands how to balance a checkbook and gets that credit cards with revolving interest charges are evil. I also personally have a thing for guys who are financially responsible enough to pay their bills on time – call me crazy but I enjoy electricity and being able to flick on lights, and more importantly, the ability to use my flat iron at will. Having said all of this, I would not base my decision on whether to date someone on how much money they make. But, having a basic knowledge of money is a really good thing. And going on a date with someone who doesn’t get the green stuff and how it works is frankly kind of a turn off. I mean, if one doesn’t care to take the time to understand the basics so that they can take care of themselves it is kind of a big deal.

Take for instance Jordan. Kind of a late bloomer, he started his first real job with a steady paycheck when he was thirty. Up until then, he had bounced around the East coast taking odd jobs in small coastal towns. Then Jordan threw down his roots in New York to be near family and became a teacher. Upon receiving his first paycheck, he insisted on celebrating with a fancy dinner. Then he needed new wheels for his car. Then there was a plumbing leak in his family owned apartment that he needed to take care of (as he was living there for practically nothing). And, of course, Jordan had to go for drinks after work with his co-workers. Long story short, his only phone was turned off because he couldn’t pay his bill. He didn’t seem to think this was such a big deal until his mother had a serious health condition and no one in his family could locate him. When this happened, I learned that he never balanced his checkbook and had no idea how much money he even had in the bank. I realized dating Jordan would always include worrying about his finances so I bid him farewell.

When I met Steve, he came across as having it together. He had worked for the same company for fifteen years and was lucky enough to know that he would always have a job there. We talked about movies and even ventured into the taboo subject of politics as we shared some Crème Brule. The bill came and he insisted on getting it, which I thought quite gentlemanly. Then he realized he hadn’t brought enough cash and asked me if they took cards. I nodded yes and then he asked me how debit cards worked. I was in awe as I explained that the money would be taken from his checking account. Then, he wondered if I could help him figure out the tip (which I did with the help of this handy little tipping program in my cell phone and in all cell phones). I was taken aback, how was it possible that he had never used his debit card before? And if he had no knowledge of debit cards, it was quite likely that he had no idea about how credit cards worked either. Even though Steve was a nice guy, I couldn’t bear the thought of trying to be his financial guru.

I once dated a guy who seriously had no knowledge of what a 401K was. He said to me at the time, “I’m so glad you know about this stuff so that you can tell me about it.” Thankfully we were on the phone so he didn’t see me cringe. On one hand, I get his reasoning because it is wonderful to have someone show you the way. On the other hand, there is something to be said for a man who cares enough about himself to care about his finances. I get that learning about finances can be scary and intimidating and thank the stars for zealots like Suze Orman who have a way of making things make sense. When it comes to dating, the bottom line is that when I come across a man that can manage his finances, I feel like I’ve struck gold.