Houdini

Every once in awhile (usually a long while), I go on a date that is spectacularly good. We meet, hit it off, and have such a fantastic time that it is blatantly obvious that we will see each other again. Sometimes a second date is scheduled before the first date has even ended. And this always, without question is a good thing because it completely cuts out that strange, angsty, three-day rule about whether he will call or not. It eliminates me wondering if he will call/e-mail/text or somehow let me know that he wants to see me again. Whenever this happens, I secretly breathe a sigh of relief because no woman really enjoys this period. But sometimes, no matter how fantastic things seem to go, the date ends with Mr. Fabulous saying something like “I’ll call you soon”, “Let’s do this again”, or my favorite (being sarcastic here)—“Take care.” It is always good when I hear back from Mr. Fabulous and that second date is booked. But every once in awhile, Mr. Fabulous disappears so completely that it is almost as if he was conjured up by fairy dust to begin with.

I have to say that I’m not a big fan of this disappearing act and think it is character revealing and childish. Take for instance Rob. Rob and I clicked so well the first time we spoke by phone, we talked for FOUR hours. Our conversation was so long that it could almost be counted as our first date. Then we met and it was downright dreamy. He was cute (in a preppy kind of way), smart (but not a smarty pants), and funny (my face hurt from laughing). And, he was giving me the ‘I’m Into You’ signs—flirting, touching, contagious smiling, looking at my lips a whole lot. It was going so well that we even kissed and it was good too! So as I walked him to the subway, I felt sure that I would see him again even if he hadn’t booked the second date and even when he said something vague about “doing this again.” Like I said, it seemed blatantly obvious that we would see each other again.

Fast forward a week, and only a few, strangely short e-mails have been exchanged. I’m actually surprised he hasn’t called. We’ve spoken by phone (so I know he is a phone-phobic) and it seems like a step back on the technology chain to now be communicating solely by e-mail. A part of me wants to make excuses for him—he is busy with work/sick/dealing with family issues. Then, I receive a random e-mail about getting together soon that is worded in such a way that I can’t figure out if he is asking me out or blowing me off. I respond with something non-committal about how getting together soon sounds good. And then, I never hear back from him.

I go over our date in my head—it was good and it seemed like there was a connection. Why would he just blow me off? Why would he just vanish into thin air? I realize that I can’t answer these questions after all I was just getting to know the guy. But really, would I want to date a guy who just disappears? To go one step further isn’t it better to know about this now? I have a friend whose boyfriend fell of the face of the earth after six months of dating. She’s still recovering. I guess the bottom line is that no matter how magical things seem, no one really wants to date Houdini.